Triggered Much? Here’s How to Stay in Control of Your Emotions

Rachel Lyon-Jukes
May 3, 2025
3 min read

Have you ever said something in the heat of the moment that you later regretted? Or felt hijacked by your emotions before you even had a chance to think? That’s emotional reactivity — and while it’s a natural human response, it doesn’t have to run your life.

Minimising emotional reactivity doesn’t mean shutting off your feelings. It means learning to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. This is a powerful shift that leads to better decisions, healthier relationships, and a stronger sense of inner peace.

Here’s how to start:

1. Learn to Recognise Your Triggers

Knowing what tends to set you off is the first step to reducing reactivity. Maybe it’s feeling criticised, being ignored, or feeling out of control. When you identify your triggers, you can prepare yourself ahead of time and notice when you're starting to slip into old patterns.

2. Breathe First, Speak Later

When you feel yourself getting emotional, your body floods with adrenaline. Your heart races, your muscles tense, your thoughts speed up. The fastest way to interrupt this cycle is to slow your breathing. Deep, slow breaths signal your nervous system to calm down, buying you the space to respond rather than react.

Even three deep breaths can make a huge difference.

3. Challenge the Story in Your Head

Often, it’s not the event itself that triggers a strong reaction — it’s the story we tell ourselves about it. For example:

Event: A friend cancels plans.
Story: "They don’t care about me."

Instead of accepting your first interpretation, question it.

Is there another possible explanation?
Am I making this personal?

Challenging the story reduces the emotional charge.

4. Practice Emotional Regulation Daily

Staying calm in stressful moments is easier when your emotional baseline is healthy. Support yourself by:

Getting enough sleep
Eating nourishing foods
Exercising regularly
Practising mindfulness or meditation

When your body and mind are well-cared for, you’re naturally less reactive.

5. Use a Mantra to Stay Grounded

Having a simple phrase you can repeat to yourself can help anchor you when emotions rise. Some examples:

“Pause and choose.”
“This feeling will pass.”
“I am bigger than this moment.”

Find words that feel calming and empowering to you.

6. Normalise Emotional Waves

Even with all the tools in the world, you're still going to feel upset, hurt, or frustrated sometimes — and that's okay. Emotions are waves: they rise and fall. You don't have to act at the peak of the wave. You can ride it out and respond once the water is calm again.

Minimising emotional reactivity isn't about suppressing who you are — it’s about giving yourself the gift of choice. Choice in how you act. Choice in how you respond. Choice in the kind of energy you want to bring into your life.

You’re not powerless over your emotions. With practice, you can become their master, not their captive.