Grow Your Emotional Intelligence: What to Do (and What to Ditch)

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is more than just being “nice” or empathetic—it’s about knowing yourself, understanding others, and navigating interactions with purpose and clarity. In today’s fast-paced world, EQ is no longer a “soft skill”—it’s a core competency that affects everything from career growth to personal relationships.

Whether you're just beginning to explore emotional intelligence or looking to sharpen your skills, understanding what to do—and what to avoid—is key. Let’s break it down.

The Do’s of Emotional Intelligence

1. Do Practice Self-Awareness

Emotional intelligence starts with knowing yourself. Tune in to your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors without judgment. Ask yourself:

• What am I feeling right now?

• Why do I feel this way?

• How is this emotion influencing my actions?

Tip: Journaling, mindfulness, or simply pausing to reflect can help strengthen this inner awareness.

2. Do Listen to Understand, Not Just to Respond

Active listening is a superpower. Show genuine interest in others’ perspectives, and resist the urge to interrupt or jump in with advice.

Often, people want to be heard and validated, not fixed.

3. Do Manage Your Reactions

High EQ doesn’t mean never feeling angry or anxious; it means choosing how you respond. Take a breath before reacting, especially in emotionally charged situations. Your ability to pause and choose your words carefully sets the tone for healthier communication.

4. Do Show Empathy

Empathy means more than just “feeling bad for someone.” It’s about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and responding with kindness and curiosity. Ask open-ended questions. Validate their feelings. Be present.

5. Do Seek Feedback

You don’t have to guess how emotionally intelligent you are, ask! Get honest feedback from trusted friends, coworkers, or mentors. It’s one of the fastest ways to grow and see blind spots you might miss.

The Don’ts of Emotional Intelligence

1. Don’t Ignore Your Emotions

Bottling up your feelings or pretending they don’t exist doesn’t make you strong. It builds pressure. Repressed emotions tend to leak out in unhealthy ways. Acknowledging what you feel is the first step to managing it.

2. Don’t Let Emotions Control You

While emotions are valid, they shouldn't run the show. Emotional intelligence is about balancing emotion with reason. If you feel triggered, take a beat. Vent if you need to, but then circle back with a cool head.

3. Don’t Assume You Know How Others Feel

Even if you’ve been in similar situations, avoid assuming you know exactly what someone else is going through. Instead of saying “I know how you feel,” try “What’s this been like for you?”

4. Don’t Take Everything Personally

Not every negative comment or interaction is about you. Emotionally intelligent people can separate their self-worth from external opinions and maintain perspective during conflict.

5. Don’t Over-Apologise or Over-Explain

Being emotionally intelligent doesn't mean always appeasing others. Don’t confuse EQ with people-pleasing. Boundaries, self-respect, and confidence are just as important.

---

Emotional intelligence is a lifelong journey, not a destination. The more you practice self-awareness, empathy, and thoughtful communication, the more you’ll notice positive shifts in your relationships and self-confidence. Start small. Be intentional. And remember: EQ isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being present, human, and real.