The Honest Struggles of Motherhood That I'm Not Afraid to Share

Motherhood hit me good and hard, and I realised that despite thinking I was ready, nothing or no one can truly prepare me for the experience until I started living through it.

Some home truths come with your new badge of honour, and these include the undeniable fact that motherhood is hard! The journey into motherhood is often romanticised via social media, showcasing the blissful moments and the joy of nurturing a new life. However, the reality is that this path is filled with challenges that can test even the most resilient of folk.

This post isn't intended to be a critical, doom story, a whine about the labours of being a mum. It is reality, but only part of it. Remember that there are always good bits to the challenges we face. The world runs on duality, so if you are struggling, remember that there is light somewhere for you to experience. But back to the doom, here are some of the things that I find challenging with my 16-month-old at the moment.

Overwhelming emotions (that includes us both)

Yes, you have your own overwhelming emotions to deal with, which include frustration, guilt, boredom, but then you also have to help hold your toddlers' emotions. It is hard not to react to them when they burst into a tantrum for no obvious reason or continue to do something after you have told them no. The truth is that they don't yet know how to manage their big emotions, which is why we need to help them along the way. But managing two sets of emotions is draining and sometimes confusing.

Self-care takers a backseat (aswell as anything you fancy doing for yourself)

I don't know what self-care is anymore because I never seem to have a moment to indulge in it. Even with my child in nursery 2 days a week, I am running around like a blue horse fly, trying to do everything I cannot do when he is around. I think you have to take the nanobites of self-care time when you can. For me, at the moment, it is reading my book for 20 minutes before falling asleep. I wish i had more time for hobbies, but I either don't have the time or I feel so overwhelmed, I can't think of something I want to do or physically feel energetic enough to do it.

When can i rest my head for 5 minutes? (The floor will do)

When my toddler is up and about, I don't feel like I have a moment to sit and drink my coffee in peace. There is always something that needs attending to, some detail that needs my attention. I lay on the floor the other day when my wife took the dog and child out for a walk. Nestling my head in the rug, I closed my eyes, and there was silence. It was blissful but also kind of odd.

The constant need for attention (i am drained)

Having to have your eye on a small human for 12 hours a day is alot! I am drained every day. There are minutes when he happily entertains himself, and I can go in search of my coffee, but most of the time, he wants/ needs my undivided attention. Sometimes I just want to zone out and daydream. That's not happening with a toddler around.

The house is a mess (overstimulating chaos)

Toys everywhere! Sets of wet clothes here and odd socks there. There is just stuff in every nook and cranny of the house. Recently, I was trying to find my toddler's water bottle. I was searching high and low for it until I eventually found it in the exact position I was just sitting in. I couldn't see it for the chaos that is 'play'. By the end of the day, I have about enough fuel in the tank to throw the toys back in the Ikea toy storage drawers, never mind get the hoover out to clear all of tonight's dinner up. That's the dog's job.

Eating (how do you even get it right?)

"He is a messy eater, isn't he?" says my son's key nursery person. Messy is not the word for my toddlers' eating habits. He crossed a line the other night when he threw his food onto my books. His cards have been marked. I know it is probably just a phase, but I struggle to get him to eat bread and cucumber sticks, never mind the Michelin-star meals i see all over social media.

Just stop moving (when toddlers cannot understand you, or just ignore you)

Is it me, or do toddlers move constantly? Just relax for a minute, mate! What i find difficult is the fact that he cannot properly understand me, nor does he have the language to communicate with me. So I cannot understand why one second he wants to have his bottle, then the next he wants to slide off me and grab a toy halfway across the room.

These are just a few of the challenges I face daily. What are yours? Are they similar, or am i on my own here? Within all of this, though, I am grateful for the smiley face I get to wake up to, for the hand that reaches for mine in the crowd and for the cuddles I get when he has an ouchie. Motherhood is life-changing, and don't we know it.