A Guide To Asking For Help. Learn Ways To Ask & Find Out Why You Should

We can all find asking for help difficult.

As humans, it is hard for us to admit defeat. And depending on how we are raised, we can believe that we have to deal with things on our own. Fix our problems by ourselves.

There is nothing wrong with pushing yourself to achieve and get autonomy. But the true power comes in understanding your limits.

One attribute of a mentally strong person is that they know when to ask for help. But try not to measure yourself against these qualities. You are on your journey; remember that.

Do not worry if asking for help feels daunting right now! You are reading this post, which means you are aware that you need some support. Let's find out why you should ask for help.

Why should you ask for help?

It is simple: asking for help = support

Asking for help is a way for you to:

• Share the load

• Unburden your mind

• Be honest with yourself

• Process events

• Seek other points of view

• Gain perspective

• Not be alone - This is a big one for me. I didn't realise it at first but having someone to share my problems with helps me to feel present. I feel validated and a part of this world. Connection with another human being is vital to function. And this is one thing asking for help gave me when i needed it.

• Feeling heard/ listened to

• Be taken seriously

• Feel that you matter

• Get advice

The list could go on! Support from another human can bring so many benefits, most of which do wonders for our mental health.

Asking for help is also a sign of strength because it shows you are recognising your weaknesses. Your level of awareness is high, and you are actively wanting to better yourself.

There is no catch when it comes to asking for help. Yet, people may think there is becuase of the stigma attached to it. Let's have a look at some of the reasons why you don't ask for help.

Why you might not ask for help?

Society can be a harsh place. A place where people place expectations and have unwritten rules on how you should be. One thing i detest is societal norms. In my opinion, they are complete bullshit! They are mostly outdated, yet people resist changing with the times.

I can bet that some reasons why people don't ask for help are rooted in social norms. Some beliefs around asking for help can include:

• asking for help is weak

• It means that i am needy

• i will be judged

• i might be rejected by other people

• It is scary

• It means things will change

• i have to do this on my own

• i will be labelled as ill

All these responses are valid. You are allowed to think and feel these things. However, they are also limiting beliefs becuase they restrict you in one way or another.

Many of us get sucked into these ideas becuase we believe them to be true. Do you want to know a secret?

They are all opinions! ones that can be changed and seen from other perspectives. You know that is true becuase i have given you a whole list of alternatives earlier on.

Rather than overcoming these beliefs right now, simply be aware of them. Acknowledging your thoughts takes that little bit of power out of them. That is a good step for now. With that in mind, let's push on to asking for help.

How to ask for help?

The obvious way is to go up to someone and verbally ask them, but we all know that is difficult. If you do not have the confidence for that, that is ok. (I didn't and I still find it hard now.) Don't beat yourself up for that. Instead, why not try one of these methods:

• Write it down in a letter and post it

• Send a message to a friend or person you trust

• Send an email to a therapist online

• Book an appointment online to see your GP and type the reason why.

• Ask a trusted person about their worries first. If they reciprocate the question, it may make it easier for you becuase the conversation has already been established.

• Ask a trusted person to make you an appointment with your GP/ therapist

• Draw it if you find art a safer medium

• Make a plan (what to say, when, how, where and who to). Having structure might be more beneficial to you. Being prepared may make you feel safer than winging it. You could even research first to make you feel even more prepared.
  

You can get creative when asking for help is what i am trying to portray. You have to find a method that is comfortable for you. It does not have to be the ‘old fashioned way’ of talking.

If you ask for help, you do not need to pour your heart out. You can start small by telling someone how you are currently feeling. You do not have to go from 0 to 100 if you do not want to.